I have a financial question that I’m embarrassed to ask, but it really means something to me.
Last week I had a very drunken night and lent my friend £3,000, which I don’t remember doing.
Apparently when we were in the pub he said he needed money to build his mum a wheelchair ramp for her home and being so drunk I wired him the money then and there. I only discovered this when I checked my bank balance the next day.
The problem is that money is most of my cash savings and I really need it back. He is currently in denial saying that I gave him the money fairly and that he had already told his mother the good news.
Do I legally have a leg to stand on here?
The Demon Potion: A drunken moment of generosity caused a terrible rift in a friendship
Sam Barker from This is Money replies: This question reminds me of the biblical saying that alcohol can be a mocker. You are definitely in a sticky situation, both legally and ethically as well.
One side of the argument is that you gave the money away on purpose, while the other says you were too drunk to make a logical decision at the time, so the donation shouldn’t count.
Complicating the situation further is that your friend, understandably, has no desire to return the money, as he earmarked it for a very noble cause.
The first course of action would be to try again to convince your friend that you need the money back, maybe let him keep some of it to even things out.
If that doesn’t work, you end up relying on the law around what constitutes gift giving.
English law says that a valid gift requires three things:
- The donor’s voluntary intention to give the gift to the recipient
- Delivery of the gift to the recipient
- Acceptance of the gift by the recipient
Obviously, your friend has had the money delivered and accepted it, so the question is whether it was your voluntary intention to give that money.
Legally, you are on shaky ground. You would say that you did not give the money voluntarily as you were drunk at the time, but technically you gave the money freely and without coercion.
I spoke with an attorney, Keystone Law litigation partner Kelly Tinkler, to get to the bottom of the issue.
The legal situation is two-sided
In short, you may have a case if you a) are happy to take the legal route against a friend and b) have some sort of proof that you were drunk at the time.
Tinkler said: ‘In the absence of another prejudicial factor, such as coercion, the donor would only be able to recover the money if they could show that there was no intention to make a gift, either as a matter of fact, or because they were intoxicated to the point that they lacked the mental capacity to do so.
Without evidence, perhaps in the form of people willing to say you were actually drunk, you might not have a leg to stand on
“Here, the donor has a significant evidentiary problem. They say they don’t remember the payment. In the absence of evidence from a third party, the dispute may well come down to the donor’s lack of evidence against what was said by the recipient.
In other words, without evidence, perhaps in the form of people willing to say you were actually drunk, you may not have a leg to stand on when it comes to getting your money back.
The area of contract law shows examples of how being drunk worked for and against people when making financial decisions.
Tinkler added: ‘In one case in 2017, entrepreneur Mike Ashley was alleged to have entered into a contract to give a £15m bonus to a contractor in relation to drinks at a bar.
“The judge concluded that although intoxication was not conclusive in this case, the informal setting and the joking nature of the conversation meant that it was unlikely that the parties intended to make a contract. He also noted that the purpose of the meeting was not to discuss bonus schemes.
In contrast, in 2023 a high-stakes gambler, Lester Hui, was held responsible for £590,000 of losses at Aspinall’s casino.
‘When his losses reached £500,000 he applied for a £300,000 extension to his line of credit and got £100,000.
“There it was established that, despite his intoxication, there was an intention to create a contract as he had dropped £400,000 on previous occasions and, quite extraordinarily, drove his Bentley home.”
It may be a serious question to consider whether this £3,000 is more important to you than your friendship.
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